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"A Week From Hell"

Feb 9 | Written By Alexandrea Blue

By the title of this blog, you're probably predicting what I am about to write about already. And yes, it was a week from hell and more. I haven't written in a while and that is simply because I have been sick, But what's new? Last week I got another one of my spinal tap procedures completed and unfortunately, it was unsuccessful at first then they had to re-do it over and over which causes excruciating pain after being poked at multiple times. My doctors are not sure why they keep going wrong but usually, when they do I get a spinal tap headache. Which is the absolute worse headache I have ever had.

This headache lasts about 5 days or even more as today I am on day 6 with the same pain. What makes it better? Caffeine!!! Personally growing up I have never had caffeine so when they told me to drink it I just couldn't. Giving it through IV is so much better but this time we didn't get to do that. I went home the day of the procedure and my lower back was in pain and above my butt because I also got my second dose of lupron! A Lupron shot is a shot to help save my eggs for the future so that hopefully I can get pregnant down the road. I got all of the side effects from that including the headache. I was throwing up for 5 days straight, non-stop, every hour. My stomach was just over it and it got to be so painful it was hard to keep throwing up bile on a sore stomach. At this point I was dehydrated.

I am not great at drinking my fluids at all and I got so dehydrated I needed to go to the ER. I went in and got some bloodwork done while they ran fluids. Fluids usually help but the vomiting didn't stop. I got Ativan and that worked but by the time I left the hospital we pulled over and I continued to throw up again. The thing that sucks the most is that this is a "no chemo week" and it sure doesn't feel like one. This is why I get frustrated sometimes because it takes so long for my body to heal and by the time it does I have chemo the next day. I never get a break! To add some positivity to this blog I was able to attend "Hairspray" the musical at the Fisher Theatre and it was nice to get out and feel normal but of course, wearing my N95 mask and knowing in my head my doctors said not to go. It went well though and it was only about 2 hours! There has been lots of crying and everything seems so stressful. I am so thankful to have everyone by my side but to bring out the realness is hard. I know I say that a lot but I mean it's super hard. I know, I know life will go back to normal when maintenance comes around but cancer will always hang above my head like a dark cloud. Nausea can get out of control and it makes me feel like death. I have been trying to be super strong but everyone has their days.

I wanted to do this and share my story in another way by introducing my podcast! "20's With A Twist" - Podcast - will be coming to Spotify and Apple Podcasts very soon. It's so much easier for me to talk about how I feel and to show my emotions by talking instead of typing. I still have 2 years of this so why not start now. I am so thankful for the amount of love I have gotten from organizations, strangers, friends, and family, and without all of you, I don't know where I'd be. You all make me who I am!

I can't wait for the day that I can wake up, get my day started, be organized, and back to school. After this week, I will be officially starting the 3rd phase of my treatment. Before maintenance will be very aggressive like the beginning but then chemo will go to once a month and hopefully I will be ready to go back to my life! Please send me any positive tips or tricks when it comes to feeling like there isn't a light at the end of the tunnel. I see it, but it's foggy. But I will continue to trust God through it all.



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